Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize