Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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