Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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