At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What a dumb baby whore.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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