i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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