You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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