She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize