I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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