Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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