We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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