You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We got so high we made milksteak
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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