she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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