Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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