all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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