Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize