I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize