I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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