I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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