i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize