i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize