How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
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Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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