you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize