i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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