I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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