Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize