Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize