we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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