Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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