He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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