i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize