the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize