well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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