he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize