is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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