good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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