If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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