And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize