I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize