when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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