so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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