you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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