I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize