That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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