How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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