I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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