Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
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