My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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