Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
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Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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