Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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