that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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